Unimpressed, disappointed, confused, delusional, random and what were you thinking are just a few of the thoughts that raced through my mind at first sight of the many Oscar 2015 #FashionVictims.
Rather than keep you waiting… I’m gonna jump right into it starting with JLo in Elie Saab.
I see Lopez managed to find a dress as big as her ego! Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the design and neckline but the color is all wrong. Jennifer does however win for taming that hair! I will also say I am impressed with her chic and simple accessories. This look coulda gone completely south if she went chahacha on us!
As for Behati Prinsloo, this the one night of this year I was sure she was going to turn out the #RedCarpet for husband Adam Levine… ugh and this is what we got! #iSigh
I so tried to appreciate her Armani Prive’ dress but my beautiful almond shaped eyes kept being dragged up to her awkaward ears, Hershey Kiss earrings, matchy lip color… and don’t get me started on that #buttbead looking necklace! #DidiSayThat? #YesSirIDid
This is exactly why Behati should stick to what works and ALWAYS WEAR HER HAIR DOWN! Nothing about her look says Supermodel… everything about her look says
What’s even more disappointing is the look on a designers face when he/she sees what their design really looks like on TV, in print and side-by-side with so many other disasters.
Case in point! Felicity Jones should not be smiling because she’s all effed up in Alexander McQueen. I get it… you’re a nominee and are no match up against Julianne Moore, but there is absolutely no reason why your dress should be so hideous. People wear what they’re feeling and in Felicity’s case… her dress had
Keira Knightley failed yet again in Valentino. I honestly don’t know where to begin with this one… I’m at loss. Either she lost another bet and had to wear this mess or she lost another bet and had to wear this mess. Either way, she and Valentino were an epic
Speaking of epic fails…
I wanna know what Viola Davis and Zac Posen were smoking when they signed off on this one? I’d give Davis an Oscar just for figuring out how to get away with murdering that entire ensemble, starting with the necklace!
Yes, I’m a critical fashionista… heck, that’s what my clients pay me the big bucks for. Trust and believe my work doesn’t stop at dressing, I work with the entire glam squad so everything compliments and nothing distracts. Case in point… Scarlett Johannson in Versace. This was a classic case of… ya shoulda stopped while you were ahead.
She, Viola, and Behati seem to be suffering from a rare case of #RandomNecklaceSyndrome. I will give it to Johannson, the dress was flawless, the earring added a bit of edge, and the hair… jury is still out! But that Chia Pet growing around her neck was all kinds of Maleficent. Somebody get the Weed B Gone!
Her entire look was a total
Okay I must admit… the Oscars #RedCarpet wasn’t a complete and total loss. There were a few glimmers of cuteness like Dakota Johnson in Saint Laurent.
Everything about this dress spoke elegant, celebrity and confidence. The jeweled shoulder strap was EVERYTHANG. Head-to-toe Dakota wins!
And then there was Chrissy Teigan in Zuhair Murad.
This is exactly what a Supermodel wife is suppose to look like at the Oscars Behati! As for Chrissy’s boldest accessory… her high cheekbones. I said it yesterday and will say it again… if Teigan gets one more Juvederm injection in her cheeks she will officially be Asian! #WHAT
Oh and the legendary Cate Blanchett in Maison Margiela Couture by John Galliano
It’s no secret that I’m not a fan of women wearing black on the #RedCarpet, but this one gets a pass. My only wish was the dress had a jewel neckline so not to distract from the fabulous statement neck piece. Other than that… #Flawless Do you think she woke up like that? Oy, I just had a Beyonce moment. Forgive me!
I must say, I have a new fondness for David Oyelowo in Dolce & Gabbana.
It takes a lot of courage for a man to wear a red tuxedo without looking like a bad 70’s prom suit minus the ruffle shirt. Which clearly wasn’t the case with Oyelowo. I love his entire look, except for the fit of his trousers. I so wished they were a slimmer cut for a more euro style. But Oyelowo still wins Best Dressed in my book. Yep… David beat out everyone, even the women! There is a first for everything eh!
But wait… this aint over because the fat lady hasn’t yum, oops I mean sung. Can we talk about
Now Shut Up and Wear something fabulous!