Oscars 2015 #RedCarpet Best & Worst Dressed

Unimpressed, disappointed, confused, delusional, random and what were you thinking are just a few of the thoughts that raced through my mind at first sight of the many Oscar 2015 #FashionVictims.

Oscars 2015

Rather than keep you waiting… I’m gonna jump right into it starting with JLo in Elie Saab.

Jennifer Lopez in Elie Saab

I see Lopez managed to find a dress as big as her ego!  Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the design and neckline but the color is all wrong.  Jennifer does however win for taming that hair!  I will also say I am impressed with her chic and simple accessories.  This look coulda gone completely south if she went chahacha on us!

As for Behati Prinsloo, this the one night of this year I was sure she was going to turn out the #RedCarpet for husband Adam Levine… ugh and this is what we got!  #iSigh

Behati Prinsloo in Armani Prive

I so tried to appreciate her Armani Prive’ dress but my beautiful almond shaped eyes kept being dragged up to her awkaward ears, Hershey Kiss earrings, matchy lip color… and don’t get me started on that #buttbead looking necklace!  #DidiSayThat? #YesSirIDid

This is exactly why Behati should stick to what works and ALWAYS WEAR HER HAIR DOWN!  Nothing about her look says Supermodel… everything about her look says

Shut Up Wrong

What’s even more disappointing is the look on a designers face when he/she sees what their design really looks like on TV, in print and side-by-side with so many other disasters.

Felicity Jones in Alexander McQueen

Case in point! Felicity Jones should not be smiling because she’s all effed up in Alexander McQueen.  I get it… you’re a nominee and are no match up against Julianne Moore, but there is absolutely no reason why your dress should be so hideous.  People wear what they’re feeling and in Felicity’s case… her dress had

Shut up Insecurewritten all over it!  But wait… speaking of random dresses.

keira knightley Valentino

Keira Knightley failed yet again in Valentino.  I honestly don’t know where to begin with this one… I’m at loss.  Either she lost another bet and had to wear this mess or she lost another bet and had to wear this mess.  Either way, she and Valentino were an epic

Shut up FAIL

Speaking of epic fails…

Viola Davis in Zac Posen

I wanna know what Viola Davis and Zac Posen were smoking when they signed off on this one?  I’d give Davis an Oscar just for figuring out how to get away with murdering that entire ensemble, starting with the necklace!

Yes, I’m a critical fashionista… heck, that’s what my clients pay me the big bucks for.  Trust and believe my work doesn’t stop at dressing, I work with the entire glam squad so everything compliments and nothing distracts.  Case in point… Scarlett Johannson in Versace.  This was a classic case of… ya shoulda stopped while you were ahead.

Scarlett Johannson in Versace

She, Viola, and Behati seem to be suffering from a rare case of #RandomNecklaceSyndrome.  I will give it to Johannson, the dress was flawless, the earring added a bit of edge, and the hair… jury is still out!  But that Chia Pet growing around her neck was all kinds of Maleficent.  Somebody get the Weed B Gone!

Ortho WeedBGoneAnd then there was Lady Gaga looking cray cray in dish washing gloves, oops I meant Azzedine Alaia.

Lady Gaga in Azzedine Alaia

Her entire look was a total

Shut Up WTFI get it… Gaga is still struggling with her image and hasn’t had a hit song in years, but come on… this is no way to treat her fans or the Oscars!  Somebody bring back the meat dress please!

Okay I must admit… the Oscars #RedCarpet wasn’t a complete and total loss.  There were a few glimmers of cuteness like Dakota Johnson in Saint Laurent. 

Dakota Johnson in Saint Laurent

Everything about this dress spoke elegant, celebrity and confidence.  The jeweled shoulder strap was EVERYTHANG.  Head-to-toe Dakota wins!

And then there was Chrissy Teigan in Zuhair Murad. 

Chrissy Teigen i Zuhair Murad

This is exactly what a Supermodel wife is suppose to look like at the Oscars Behati!  As for Chrissy’s boldest accessory… her high cheekbones. I said it yesterday and will say it again… if Teigan gets one more Juvederm injection in her cheeks she will officially be Asian!  #WHAT

Oh and the legendary Cate Blanchett in Maison Margiela Couture by John Galliano

Cate Blanchett in Maison Margiela Couture by John Galliano

It’s no secret that I’m not a fan of women wearing black on the #RedCarpet, but this one gets a pass.  My only wish was the dress had a jewel neckline so not to distract from the fabulous statement neck piece.  Other than that… #Flawless  Do you think she woke up like that?  Oy, I just had a Beyonce moment.  Forgive me!

I must say, I have a new fondness for David Oyelowo in Dolce & Gabbana.

David Oyelowo in Dolce and Gabbana

It takes a lot of courage for a man to wear a red tuxedo without looking like a bad 70’s prom suit minus the ruffle shirt.  Which clearly wasn’t the case with Oyelowo.  I love his entire look, except for the fit of his trousers.  I so wished they were a slimmer cut for a more euro style.  But Oyelowo still wins Best Dressed in my book.  Yep… David beat out everyone, even the women!  There is a first for everything eh!

But wait… this aint over because the fat lady hasn’t yum, oops I mean sung.  Can we talk about

Neil Patrick Harris Tighty Whities

Yassssssss!  #NuffSaid

Now Shut Up and Wear something fabulous!


 

Grammy Awards 2015: Worst and Worst Dressed

The 2015 Granny, oops I meant Grammy Awards, were everything I expected it to be and more… yep!  They were a total snorefest. 2015 Granny Awards

Well okay, I must admit… there were a few moments that made me sit up… like Katy Perry’s powerful performance of “By The Grace Of God”.

Katy Perry By The Grace Of GodA vision in Valentino (look 43 from the #HauteCouture Sala Bianca 945 collection), Perry has fully redeemed herself from that tragic #SuperBowl performance.  And then there’s

Prince Grammy 2015

Yes, ma’am!  Prince gave us afrocentric Rock Star with a creamsicle twist!  I love this comment my friend En Sabah Nur posted on my Facebook page: “Prince, the only guy that can wear heels, eye liner, look like the neighbor from the jeffersons and still steal your girl AND you. Hahahaaa. We should all be taking notes.” #NuffSaid

Oh and what about Common and John Legend performing #Glory?

Common and John Legend Glory Grammys 2015

Those two right there are #Magic.  But lets keep it real here… you weren’t sitting on pins and needles waiting for me to post today’s blog to hear me gush about last nights top performances… were you?  #NOT

So lets get right to it… but before we do, let me remind you the Grammys #RedCarpet has always been a bit of a spectacle.  It’s the one night musics royalty and wannabees get to put on their best #FashionVictim costumes with the hopes of being photographed, mentioned or noticed for their sheer randomness.  Truth be told, this is their chance to go viral.

SIA Grammys 2015 Chandelier

Yes, I’m starting off with the one artist that brought me to my feet!  SIA! #Brilliant is all I have to say… and sorry for the person that was seated behind her!  That #HairRightThere was everythang… as for her Grammy performance with Kristen Wiig and #MiniMe… NOT SO MUCH!  I’m still confused by what I witnessed.  But we can talk about that in #therapy later this week.

Ariana Grande In Versace

Catch the expression on Ariana Grande’s face.  She looks just as confused by her Versace dress as I was. And then there was Ciara… yes, I referenced her in past tense!

Ciara In Alexandre Vauthier

Past tense as in her career and that gawd awful Alexandre Vauthier high-low dress!  High as in she must have been “High” when she decided to go with that beast.  And what about #PeterPan?

Jane Fonda In Balmain

Ooops I meant Jane Fonda in Peter Pan… ooops ooops I meant Jane Fonda in Balmain.  This is exactly the reason why celebrity my clients pay me the big bucks.  I always say “just because its designer, free and custom made for you, doesn’t mean you have to wear it!”  #WTF

Madonna In Givenchy

Trust and believe I was expecting for Madonna to show up in some kind of randomness, but this Givenchy hodge podge takes the cake.  I get it… she loves the attention but this is no way for her to treat her kids or fans.  What did we do to deserve this eyesore and that train wreck of a performance.  I feel like this is her way of putting us all in time out!  Waaaaaa

Oh and Lady Ahhh Ahhh needs to stop hanging on Tony Bennett and lose the Vegas girl look.

Lady Gaga In Brandon Maxwell

Take my advice Lady Gaga, apologize and make up with your original creative team so we can get your look back on track, because what you got going on right now is all kinds of wrong… from head to #CamelToe!  Yeah I said it… and what?

Of course I was one of the first fashionistas to post this pic of Ri Ri in this hot mess of a Giambattista Valli dress.

rihanna in Giambattista Valli

And the moment I did the comments came flooding in… My friend, celebrity comedian, Liz Faublas called it #CottonCandyCouture on my Instagram post. So of course I had to give her what she asked for…

Exhibit A: Kim Kardashian nose dives into Ri Ri after the Grammy’s.  She sho looks hungry!

Ri Ri Cotton Candy Couture Kim Kardashian

Exhibit B: this is the closest this boy will get to nibbling on Ri Ri so he takes what he can get!

Ri Ri Cotton Candy Couture

And Exhibit C:  This was Ri Ri’s dress fitting at Giambattista Valli

Ri Ri Cotton Candy Couture2

LOL!!! But wait… it gets better.  My good friend Kenneth Alexander called it #Quinceanera S/S 2015.

RihannaSpanishDoll

I nearly fell on the floor from lack of oxygen I laughed so much.  I had to!  Please don’t terrorize me for creating these pics if you’re a Rihanna die-hard fan.  #HaveASenseOfHumorYall LOL!!

While Ri Ri’s beauty is #Flawless her pose was NOT!  Tell me the crystal-covered Adam Selman dress doesn’t look like a comfy bean-bag?  Okay so the crystals may be uncomfy to sit on, but the poofyness is making me want to grab my blanky and curl up on it… yes, while Rihanna is wearing it!  That’s the best part.  LOL!!!

Oh and what was with Chris Brown in DSquared2 channeling his inner Dennis Rodman?

Chris Brown aka Dennis Rodman

That resemblance right there is STRIKING! And that is NOT a compliment!

As for best dressed… there were none!  Come on #FashionVictims this was the Grammy’s not the Oscars!  Now lets Shut Up And take a moment, bow our heads and pray for all the fashion that was victimized at the Grammys. 


 

2015 #SAGAwards Hits & Misses

The SAG Awards #RedCarpet didn’t fail or impress me.

Shut Up 2015 SAG Awards

I was however mildly astonished to see my “better dressed” list had more names on it than my worst… huh?  Why did I call it my “better dressed” list and not best or hits you ask? Well, best dressed/hits is a huge compliment, better dressed is a job well done!  Totally not a backhanded compliment or was it?

Shut Up Thanks I Think

Enough about that, lets get right to it.  My picks for better dressed are…

Shut Up SAG Awards 2015 Hits

Kaley Cuoco Sweeting stunning in Romona Keveza… I kinda wish she would have fixed the expression on her face though.  Looks like she either got into a fight with her hubby and left him standing in the driveway or her little piggies hurt because her shoes were too tight!  As for Julianna Margulies in cobalt Giambattista Valli Couture… this is a drastic improvement from the red number she wore to the #GoldenGlobes.  And lets talk about the high slit and volume… the volume tricks the eye to think she’s curvier than she is.  As for my girl Reese Witherspoon in custom Armani, she is a flawless vision in this one shoulder ivory dress.  Witherspoon can do very little wrong in my eyes!  Surprisingly Julie Bowen in Georges Hobeika made it on my list.  The jeweled dress was appropriate and her hair added the right bit of sass and edge… an interesting juxtaposition.  Hard to believe Ariel Winter in Zac Posen is 17 years old… two words… #KnockOut! And last but certainly not least Sarah Paulson in Armani Prive… this B&W number is chic, elegant, modern, sophisticated and… and… I can just go on and on.  Loved her in #FX #AmericanHorrorFreakShow #LOVED  The two-headed thing freaked me out at first but it kinda grew on me.  Get it… #GrewOnMe

Shut Up LOL

And now for my misses!

Shut Up SAG Awards 2015 Misses

I’m just as shocked as you are… only two #FashionVictims on my list?  WHAT?  Amanda Peet got it completely wrong in J. Mendel.  From the wrong color choice, to the lack of support for the boobies and what was with all the heavy pleats in that fabric?  Oh Amanda, I expect so much more from the wife of the man that created #GameOfThrones.  And yes, your eyes aren’t deceiving you… the legendary Joan Collins wearing I don’t know what is on my very short list of worst dressed.  Love her tons but hate what she’s wearing for so many reasons I don’t care to go into.  I will say I would have liked the dress if someone took a pair of scissors to the sleeves though.  I know women of a certain age prefer to cover their arms but this is taking that preference to another level.  The volume on the sleeves is distracting and competes with her hair, which competes with the texture on the dress, which competes with the gloves… oh damn, I said I wasn’t going to do that!

Shut Up UGH

Keira Knightly kinda redeemed herself in this purple number by Erdem… then again, anything is better then that Chanel disaster she wore to the #GoldenGlobes

Keira Knightley in Erdem

Until I saw the tight shot…

Keira Knightley in Erdem2

The random studded earring cuff thingy looked as though her stylist got glue gun happy with the bedazzler.  And what was with the strange strings around her shoulders?  Ugh!  I kinda

Shut Up Flatlined

But then I was brought back when I saw Julianne Moore in that emerald Givenchy Dress.  She looked fabulous but something about the dress wasn’t adding up for me.  Yep, I was #SMH

Julianne Moore in Givenchy Dress

And then it struck me… the heavy beading around her bust was too much for her petite figure and the straps were slightly off shape.

Julianne Moore in Givenchy

You see… her shoulders look narrow/weak and her arms look pale/petite.  I would have preferred a strapless version of this dress on her.  She’s lucky I wasn’t on that #RedCarpet with my trusty

Shut Up Scissors

LOL!!!  So there you Shut Up And have it my #FashionVictims, my #SAGAwards #RedCarpet dish. Trust and believe, my list was much longer but I chopped  a lot because the other hits/misses weren’t interesting enough to mention or read.  WHAT!!!


 

 

Judge My Character, NOT The Labels I Wear

On this Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday I reflect on what’s important for me and how that affects YOU! Tops on my list are the importance of individuality, support, acceptance, guidance and above all…

Shut Up Love

As I look back at history and reflect on the struggles of those that fought for the freedoms we have today, I say

Shut Up Thank You

Thank you for fighting the fight that gives us the courage and motivation to continue their legacy.

MLK

In my eyes the fight for equality is far from over and should be viewed as a baton that was passed from them to us. 

Shut Up Pass The Baton

Our job is to keep passing that baton so our brothers and sisters know what something so important and powerful feels like in the palm of their hands.  I know what it feels like to hold that baton and pass it… it’s the most beautiful feeling!

No doubt I am blessed to have a job and career I love. Contrary to what most think, the money isn’t what motivates me… its what I get in return that does. Blessed, enlightened, entertained and appreciated are just a few words that describe what I feel and is what inspires me to keep doing what I do.

Shut Up Inspire

The freedom to be me, speak my mind and share my opinion is something I don’t take for granted.

Celebrities and public figures are praised and criticized everyday for what they say, do and wear. It’s our right to have an opinion, but it’s important we share our views and thoughts it in a respectful way. Good or indifferent, our opinions make things relevant.

Shut up YOM

We have come a long way but that doesn’t mean we don’t have further to go. If there is one thing you can do to help bring about change in a positive way, then please do it!  Speak your mind, show your support or bless the next. It’s what those that are fighting for our rights are doing and we should do the same as a Thank You to them.

MLK2

Now Shut Up And be the best #fashionista you can by #BlessingTheNext


 

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